Brendan Burke
How one life impacted a family, a campus, and a nation
Andrea Bosco (Introduction)
Issue date: 3/3/10 Section: Sports
The world lost a truly inspiring young
man on February 5. Brendan Burke,
21, grew up on the ice and considered
following in the footsteps of his father,
Brian Burke, the general manager of the
Toronto Maple Leafs and the United
States men's Olympic hockey team.
Brendan, a political science major and French minor, was the No. 1 ranked Miami hockey team's student manager and a close friend of the players. He held a position as an offi cer with the College Democrats and planned to attend law school after graduation.
In December 2009, ESPN's John Buccigross published an article about Brendan's courageous coming out to his father, his family and his friends. In the article, Brendan came out to the rest of the world. He paved the pathway for athletes who feared the frequent homophobic culture that often accompanies professional sports.
His voice reached many and in return he received infinite amounts of love and support from his family and friends. His father referred to him as a "pioneer," and a fearless pioneer he was.
Brendan, known to many as "Burkie," continuously put others in his best interest and had a deep compassion for the people who surrounded him. Miami hockey coach Enrico Blasi considered him "a blessing" to the Miami hockey program. He was a lovable guy with a big heart and a never-ending smile.
Brendan's legacy lives on to lead others to speak out and view the gift of life as he did. On the following pages Brendan's family members and friends have written down memories of their brother, son, friend, teammate and student.
Remembering Brendan
"I am honored to be Brendan's older sister. I am very used to people complimenting Brendan and saying just how remarkable and wonderful he is, but this week was truly overwhelming -- Brendan had a unique way of making people feel they were the most important person in the world, and the response to his death reflected his warmth, kindness, intellect, and hard work throughout his life. Brendan's smile lit up a room, his charisma put people at ease, and his poise and intellect were always well beyond his years.
Brendan LOVED working for the Miami hockey team. Being part of "the brotherhood" meant the world to him, and the entire coaching staff , all the players, and their respective families were just amazing to Brendan during his time at the school. One of the things my mother will miss the most about Brendan is the score updates he would send after every period of each Miami hockey game. She still has dozens of text messages celebrating big wins, expressing nerves during a tight second period, or just letting her know he was safely on the road with the team.
Brendan's friends at Miami are just wonderful. He has been friends with his current housemates since freshman year, and I think you would be hard pressed to find any college kids who have more fun that they do. His roommates contacted us after Brendan died to ask if they could make a collage for Brendan's wake, to which we responded of course. They arrived with two posters filled with photos of Brendan from Miami, one of which had Ted Kennedy's "the Dream Shall Never Die" quote and the other had "An Invitation to the Dance of Life," a quote from one of Brendan's favorite songs. It was no surprise to any of us that his roommates and closest friends picked the same exact quotes that my brother Patrick and sister Molly would use to eulogize Brendan the next day. They (and all of their families) are a true testament to what Miami University did for Brendan--it provided him with a place to thrive intellectually, personally, and professionally while still having a whole lot of fun doing it." - Katie Burke, sister
"Brendan Burke was the kindest, most caring, and most courageous person I have ever met, and I don't just say this because he is now gone. Had I been asked to describe him prior to his death, I would have said the exact same thing. He was sincere. He was authentic. He had an innate ability to make each person he connected with feel as if they were the most important person in the world. He always had a smile on his face, and was the same person every single day. His positive outlook on life was infectious. Brendan Burke was the type of person that made you want to be a better person. Brendan was an uncommon man with endless potential. In just 21 short years, he was able to make an impact on this world that will last long after he is gone." - Nick Petraglia, director of hockey operations
"He knew how to impact someone's life within seconds of meeting them. Brendan was, without a doubt, one of the most respected and liked members of our Brotherhood. I was so fortunate to have spent two and a half years of my life with him and be a close friend while he embarked in such a difficult journey -- a journey that will not be forgotten now that he is gone." - Tommy Wingels, Junior Captain, Miami University hockey team
"Brendan was a great person. He was caring, compassionate, courageous and loved life. He always smiled and you could count on him for anything." - Coach Enrico Blasi, Miami University hockey team
"If there was anyone I could pick to talk hockey with, it wasn't Wayne Gretzky or Mario Lemieux; it was Brendan Burke. We could talk for hours about the game we loved and since we were both goalies, you could imagine the interesting conversations we had.
It's impossible to sum up a person like Brendan in just a paragraph. I will NEVER forget him and will use him as a role model for the rest of my life." - Senior Jeff Vayda, friend
"Brendan's smile lit up any room he was in. He treated friends like they were family and I'm so glad I got to be a part of that family." - Junior Sam Friedman, friend
"I only knew Brendan for a short time. In that short time I learned a lot from him. He was one of the nicest people I've ever met. He's going to be missed." - Senior Kyle Wells, friend
"I never saw him without a smile on his face. He always took the extra second to say, "Hey," and see how you're doing. I really respected him for that. It meant so much to be able to go out to Boston (for the funeral). He was a part of our family. To be able to have the (shamrock) patch on our uniforms and his initials in our helmets means a lot. He will be dearly missed." - Senior Gary Steffes, #12, Miami University hockey team
"He was one of those 'once in a lifetime' kind of people. He always had your attention and you always wanted to have his. To the team, he wasn't just our student manager. He was a teammate and friend. We knew the team meant a lot to him and he meant just as much, if not more, to us. I learned valuable lessons in life from him in the three years that I knew him that I will carry on for the rest of my life." - Junior Carter Camper, #11, Miami University hockey team
"He opened the eyes to a lot of people on our team. I feel like it was only within the last two or three weeks that he was really feeling comfortable with us. He could be who he wanted to be. We were all excited about that, too. He really had a lot to offer; it's hard to put into words. Brendan was going to do good things no matter what he did. He was a great student, a hard worker and he had a really good energy about him. He was just an awesome guy." - Senior Brandon Smith, #8, Miami University hockey team
"Being the only freshman in a class full of upper-classmen, I was scared. I remember Brendan making me feel like everything I said in class was valuable. I remember Brendan's smile and how it could brighten up the whole room. On a funnier note, Brendan shared a story with the class about how a lot of people mistake him for a straight man and I passed him a note one day in class that said, 'Boo, you are my favorite straight man,' and Brendan saying he would keep that forever. I miss you buddy and will love you forever." - First-year Stacy Snowden, friend
"My first impression of Brendan was that he was fearless, confident and driven. For him to be a trail blazer in the area of homosexuality in hockey showed a lot about him. He made the world better for those around him whether he knew them or not. One thing that I think was overlooked was heavy load he took on. He was able to work for the team, take difficult classes for not just his major but his minor, play for his intramural team and be involved in the College Democrats. He continuously did this semester after semester. He also recently started writing articles for The Miami Student, ESPN and completed interviews on TSN. A lesser man would have been broken and failed if given the load that Brendan carried. For someone so young and full of potential to leave us in the way he did is really difficult because of the atmosphere that surrounded him everywhere he went." - First-year Bobby Lucas, friend
"Initially we had a lot to talk about right off the bat because he was from Boston and I played up there before Miami. I knew him before he was our student manager. He was every bit of a good guy as you could imagine. He was super nice, genuine, easy to talk to, and amazingly humble. I think the biggest impression that I felt after he passed was just that by knowing him you never would have thought that he meant as much to so many people as he actually did. After he opened up to us, he was very confident. We would always show up to games wearing the same outfit. The running joke between us was that if anyone would see us together they would think he was the straight one. We are all going to miss him." - Senior Dane Hetland, #3, Miami University hockey team
"When I first met Brendan, all I knew was that he was Canadian and since I love Canada, of course I wanted to be his friend. It was just an added bonus that he also happened to be the most genuine person I have ever met." - Senior Alexandra Ross, friend
"A few select people on this earth illuminate. They shine with a softened glow. Not a glow for show, but a glow from an intense love of people and life. You might know a person like this. ... People liked Brendan 10 seconds after meeting him. His wasn't a flamboyant or self-serving gallop. He was there for you. He connected quickly with people because he had a genuine interest in you. His kindness had no patience." - John Buccigross, sports columnist, ESPN.com
"When he went to visit a law school a few weeks ago, he emailed me to ask if I had any last-minute advice for him. My reply to him was, "Good grief, Brendan, be yourself." He was naturally polite and charming. He didn't have to make up anything to say to sound impressive. He knew who he was and what he could accomplish. I am lucky to have known Brendan and blessed to have had him in my life." -Melanie Marlowe, visiting assistant instructor, Miami University
Brendan, a political science major and French minor, was the No. 1 ranked Miami hockey team's student manager and a close friend of the players. He held a position as an offi cer with the College Democrats and planned to attend law school after graduation.
In December 2009, ESPN's John Buccigross published an article about Brendan's courageous coming out to his father, his family and his friends. In the article, Brendan came out to the rest of the world. He paved the pathway for athletes who feared the frequent homophobic culture that often accompanies professional sports.
His voice reached many and in return he received infinite amounts of love and support from his family and friends. His father referred to him as a "pioneer," and a fearless pioneer he was.
Brendan, known to many as "Burkie," continuously put others in his best interest and had a deep compassion for the people who surrounded him. Miami hockey coach Enrico Blasi considered him "a blessing" to the Miami hockey program. He was a lovable guy with a big heart and a never-ending smile.
Brendan's legacy lives on to lead others to speak out and view the gift of life as he did. On the following pages Brendan's family members and friends have written down memories of their brother, son, friend, teammate and student.
Remembering Brendan
"I am honored to be Brendan's older sister. I am very used to people complimenting Brendan and saying just how remarkable and wonderful he is, but this week was truly overwhelming -- Brendan had a unique way of making people feel they were the most important person in the world, and the response to his death reflected his warmth, kindness, intellect, and hard work throughout his life. Brendan's smile lit up a room, his charisma put people at ease, and his poise and intellect were always well beyond his years.
Brendan LOVED working for the Miami hockey team. Being part of "the brotherhood" meant the world to him, and the entire coaching staff , all the players, and their respective families were just amazing to Brendan during his time at the school. One of the things my mother will miss the most about Brendan is the score updates he would send after every period of each Miami hockey game. She still has dozens of text messages celebrating big wins, expressing nerves during a tight second period, or just letting her know he was safely on the road with the team.
Brendan's friends at Miami are just wonderful. He has been friends with his current housemates since freshman year, and I think you would be hard pressed to find any college kids who have more fun that they do. His roommates contacted us after Brendan died to ask if they could make a collage for Brendan's wake, to which we responded of course. They arrived with two posters filled with photos of Brendan from Miami, one of which had Ted Kennedy's "the Dream Shall Never Die" quote and the other had "An Invitation to the Dance of Life," a quote from one of Brendan's favorite songs. It was no surprise to any of us that his roommates and closest friends picked the same exact quotes that my brother Patrick and sister Molly would use to eulogize Brendan the next day. They (and all of their families) are a true testament to what Miami University did for Brendan--it provided him with a place to thrive intellectually, personally, and professionally while still having a whole lot of fun doing it." - Katie Burke, sister
"Brendan Burke was the kindest, most caring, and most courageous person I have ever met, and I don't just say this because he is now gone. Had I been asked to describe him prior to his death, I would have said the exact same thing. He was sincere. He was authentic. He had an innate ability to make each person he connected with feel as if they were the most important person in the world. He always had a smile on his face, and was the same person every single day. His positive outlook on life was infectious. Brendan Burke was the type of person that made you want to be a better person. Brendan was an uncommon man with endless potential. In just 21 short years, he was able to make an impact on this world that will last long after he is gone." - Nick Petraglia, director of hockey operations
"He knew how to impact someone's life within seconds of meeting them. Brendan was, without a doubt, one of the most respected and liked members of our Brotherhood. I was so fortunate to have spent two and a half years of my life with him and be a close friend while he embarked in such a difficult journey -- a journey that will not be forgotten now that he is gone." - Tommy Wingels, Junior Captain, Miami University hockey team
"Brendan was a great person. He was caring, compassionate, courageous and loved life. He always smiled and you could count on him for anything." - Coach Enrico Blasi, Miami University hockey team
"If there was anyone I could pick to talk hockey with, it wasn't Wayne Gretzky or Mario Lemieux; it was Brendan Burke. We could talk for hours about the game we loved and since we were both goalies, you could imagine the interesting conversations we had.
It's impossible to sum up a person like Brendan in just a paragraph. I will NEVER forget him and will use him as a role model for the rest of my life." - Senior Jeff Vayda, friend
"Brendan's smile lit up any room he was in. He treated friends like they were family and I'm so glad I got to be a part of that family." - Junior Sam Friedman, friend
"I only knew Brendan for a short time. In that short time I learned a lot from him. He was one of the nicest people I've ever met. He's going to be missed." - Senior Kyle Wells, friend
"I never saw him without a smile on his face. He always took the extra second to say, "Hey," and see how you're doing. I really respected him for that. It meant so much to be able to go out to Boston (for the funeral). He was a part of our family. To be able to have the (shamrock) patch on our uniforms and his initials in our helmets means a lot. He will be dearly missed." - Senior Gary Steffes, #12, Miami University hockey team
"He was one of those 'once in a lifetime' kind of people. He always had your attention and you always wanted to have his. To the team, he wasn't just our student manager. He was a teammate and friend. We knew the team meant a lot to him and he meant just as much, if not more, to us. I learned valuable lessons in life from him in the three years that I knew him that I will carry on for the rest of my life." - Junior Carter Camper, #11, Miami University hockey team
"He opened the eyes to a lot of people on our team. I feel like it was only within the last two or three weeks that he was really feeling comfortable with us. He could be who he wanted to be. We were all excited about that, too. He really had a lot to offer; it's hard to put into words. Brendan was going to do good things no matter what he did. He was a great student, a hard worker and he had a really good energy about him. He was just an awesome guy." - Senior Brandon Smith, #8, Miami University hockey team
"Being the only freshman in a class full of upper-classmen, I was scared. I remember Brendan making me feel like everything I said in class was valuable. I remember Brendan's smile and how it could brighten up the whole room. On a funnier note, Brendan shared a story with the class about how a lot of people mistake him for a straight man and I passed him a note one day in class that said, 'Boo, you are my favorite straight man,' and Brendan saying he would keep that forever. I miss you buddy and will love you forever." - First-year Stacy Snowden, friend
"My first impression of Brendan was that he was fearless, confident and driven. For him to be a trail blazer in the area of homosexuality in hockey showed a lot about him. He made the world better for those around him whether he knew them or not. One thing that I think was overlooked was heavy load he took on. He was able to work for the team, take difficult classes for not just his major but his minor, play for his intramural team and be involved in the College Democrats. He continuously did this semester after semester. He also recently started writing articles for The Miami Student, ESPN and completed interviews on TSN. A lesser man would have been broken and failed if given the load that Brendan carried. For someone so young and full of potential to leave us in the way he did is really difficult because of the atmosphere that surrounded him everywhere he went." - First-year Bobby Lucas, friend
"Initially we had a lot to talk about right off the bat because he was from Boston and I played up there before Miami. I knew him before he was our student manager. He was every bit of a good guy as you could imagine. He was super nice, genuine, easy to talk to, and amazingly humble. I think the biggest impression that I felt after he passed was just that by knowing him you never would have thought that he meant as much to so many people as he actually did. After he opened up to us, he was very confident. We would always show up to games wearing the same outfit. The running joke between us was that if anyone would see us together they would think he was the straight one. We are all going to miss him." - Senior Dane Hetland, #3, Miami University hockey team
"When I first met Brendan, all I knew was that he was Canadian and since I love Canada, of course I wanted to be his friend. It was just an added bonus that he also happened to be the most genuine person I have ever met." - Senior Alexandra Ross, friend
"A few select people on this earth illuminate. They shine with a softened glow. Not a glow for show, but a glow from an intense love of people and life. You might know a person like this. ... People liked Brendan 10 seconds after meeting him. His wasn't a flamboyant or self-serving gallop. He was there for you. He connected quickly with people because he had a genuine interest in you. His kindness had no patience." - John Buccigross, sports columnist, ESPN.com
"When he went to visit a law school a few weeks ago, he emailed me to ask if I had any last-minute advice for him. My reply to him was, "Good grief, Brendan, be yourself." He was naturally polite and charming. He didn't have to make up anything to say to sound impressive. He knew who he was and what he could accomplish. I am lucky to have known Brendan and blessed to have had him in my life." -Melanie Marlowe, visiting assistant instructor, Miami University
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