The Suite Life:
It's sweet if you got a bid... but what if you didn't
Mel Matzker
Issue date: 3/3/10 Section: Scene
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At first, most of these girls are optimistic about the process of rush and choose to partake for an assortment of reasons. Miami University sophomore Shannon O'Halloran, for example, thought the Greek community would open up doors to a wider social network beyond the friends in her freshman corridor.
Others thought rush was almost necessary. First-year Dorothy Illson felt pressured by the sheer prevalence of Greeks here at Miami.
"Freshmen are given the impression, in my opinion, that Greek life is huge and consumes the whole campus," Illson says. "You just think, how am I supposed to make friends if I'm not in a sorority?"
Despite the pressure, most of the girls admit they were excited going into the rush process. However this initial optimism doesn't come from just anywhere. Greek Life Guides (GLGs), who are supposed to guide them through the rush process, implant this optimism in their minds. Illson says she thought rush could be greatly improved if girls were just warned about what could potentially happen in the end. "They paint such a pretty picture of rush-of what it just doesn't turn out to be (for most). You just assume you're going to get into a sorority and it's going to be one you like," Illson says.
However, this sort of misguidance doesn't seem universal throughout the entire Greek community. Junior Lauren Mayo, a GLG for sorority recruitment in 2009, says she worked hard to let girls know the end of the process doesn't always turn out like they expect.
"I really made it clear that sometimes you don't get into the sorority you want," Mayo says. "I didn't want to give them any false hope."
Still, sophomore Jillian Lake also felt misguided throughout the rush process.
"I was told that everyone fi ts in somewhere. There's a place for everyone. The sororities know what they're doing. They know who's supposed to be in what sorority," Lake says.
This sort of guidance may lead girls to believe that if they don't get a bid, they have no place at Miami.
"I feel like some GLGs didn't really make it clear to their girls (about the reality of the bid process) which is kind of sad," says Mayo.
Illson suggests that maybe there's an obvious reason why GLGs don't discuss this potential reality. After all, they all received bids so perhaps they don't realize the extent to which utter disappointment accompanies not receiving a bid.
"If you think about it, the GLGs, I mean, they're the people who it did work out for," Illson says.
This kind of misguidance makes not receiving a bid seem even more shocking, according to the girls.
O'Halloran, Illson and Lake struggle to determine which was a worse feeling: standing there empty handed, without a piece of paper accepting them into a social group or sitting alone in their rooms while everyone else was out embracing this new and exciting time in their lives.O'Halloran describes the moment her GLG delivered the news of bids.
"It was very not private," she says. "There were probably about 15 girls in the room, including myself, sitting in a circle, receiving the slips of paper with their bids when my GLG just ran out of papers to hand out. 15 girls, 14 slips of paper."
Other GLGs take a different, more private and intimate approach with delivering the unfortunate news in the end by arranging private conversations and encouraging the girls to text her with any concerns.
Not long after the immediate feelings of alienation and neglect begin to set in, the girls get hit again. This time, by the fl ashy nature of a celebration known as Bid Day. Most of girls in the corridor leave the dorms to celebrate getting bids, while a few stay put.
Illson describes the feeling of what it was like after all the girls left. "My roommate and I went to the dining hall and there was no one there," she says. "And you know they're just all at bid night. You just feel like you're so alone."
Later that night everyone returns to the corridor, bearing gifts from their new sisterhood: A Bid Day shirt, a new bag and a door deck-all displaying large Greek letters.
The door decorations are unanimously what cause the most hurt.
O'Halloran says because the majority of people in your residence hall are generally aware you went through the process, when you don't have a door deck hung up, it invites questions as to what went wrong.
"It was so obvious that every door in the corridor had two door decks, (one for each roommate), yet mine had only one," she says.
O'Halloran adds that every time she walked through her residence hall, the door decks just served as a constant reminder that she did not get a bid.
But the reminder of this social rejection doesn't stop there. Rejected girls describe the socials that take place nearly every week following the rush process: "Putting on the Hits" practices, fraternity pledges visiting dorms to serenade sorority girls, excessive amounts of gifts from Bigs to Littles, Bandstand, Greek week, huge sheets hung up at Shriver, ads in the Miami Student. And the list goes on.
"It's just like you're just being hit again and again with all the things you're missing out on," Illson says.
Despite the emotional rollercoaster these girls face, it seems many of their experiences are largely concealed from the process.
"You don't really hear about the girls who don't get bids," admits Mayo. "You can tell they don't have a sorority bag, but that's about it."
For first-years like Illson it seems the repercussions and initial shock of rush are still very much there, nearly three months after rushing.
"I didn't want to hear 'maybe you weren't meant to be in a sorority' because I had my heart set on it, you know?" she says.
However, both O'Halloran and Lake, who went through the process last year, have a slightly different, more removed attitude about it.
"Today I'm okay I'm not in a sorority," Lake says. "It's not going to ruin my life, but I'm definitely reminded of Greek life all the time and probably will be for my next two years as well."
O'Halloran shares a similar point of view.
"You can't view it as a handicap to your social life or academic career but Greek life is so prevalent on Miami's campus, it still does continue to affect me. There's not a time I go out that I'm not either with a frat or friend in a sorority," she says. "There are moments I still feel left out of an entire community, but you just have to appreciate yourself as an individual rather than dwell on the fact that you didn't get into a sorority."
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