one night STanD
Don't know who (s)he's been with before?
Chris DeNicola, Brandon Gay, Ashley Korn & Olivia Otten
Issue date: 12/12/09 Section: Opinion
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Here’s the situation*
Chad’s pretty shy when it comes to girls. He’s had a couple relationships, he’s even slept with one of his girlfriends, but he’s never been what you consider “a ladies man.” It’s around 5 pm and he’s pre-gaming with his buddies in the living room. 40-Year-Old Virgin is on TV. During commercial breaks, his friends start talking about the different girls they’ve hooked up with. Even his roommate who has a broken leg has been
Sarah's at the salon getting her hair cut, reading Cosmo's "Top 10 Wild Sex Positions." The hairdresser leans over her shoulder and points out that the "Sensual Spoon" looks fun. Sarah furrows her eyebrows and thinks this woman is way too old to be having sex, but she agrees nonetheless. Besides, she's tried #5 with Bobby, #2 with Chris and the #8 position broke that one guy's leg. She goes home and gets ready for a crazy night with her roommates.
It's past midnight and the bars uptown are packed with frosh. Sarah sees Chad from across the bar.
"Chaaaad! Oh my god I haven't seen you in forever! How've you been?" she says as she throws her arms around his neck.
"Yeah it's been a while! What are you drinking?" Chad asks.
He and Sarah know each other from freshman year. As the drinks flow so does the convo. Sarah's roommates decide to leave to go to a party at a friend's house.
"Hey Sarah, you coming?" they ask. "I think I'll stay here for a while," Sarah answers.
She smiles and waves her friends on.
"I'll meet up with you later."
Sarah doesn't see her friends later.
The morning rolls around and Chad and Sarah are heading to get some breakfast to cure their pounding heads. Chad realizes the condom he brought out with him is still in his pocket from last night. He starts to panic but remembers she's on birth control and calms down. As they're eating breakfast, piecing together what happened the night before, some guys come up to the table to chat with Sarah. Chad notices that the guys are pretty friendly with her and all seem to suggest they should hang out later. One of them even winks at Chad. He starts to get the feeling that Sarah may have been around the block a few times.
As the check arrives, he reaches in his wallet to pay, but feels the unused condom for a second time. The once weightless plastic wrapper seems to now be filled with lead, about to anchor Chad to the ground.
This story may seem a little sensational but we bet you know a guy like Chad or a girl like Sarah. This type of situation happens every weekend at Miami, and we can't continue to be apathetic about it. The media we all consume, whether it's watching an R-rated comedy like 40-Year-Old Virgin, or reading all about the sex positions in Cosmo, affects the general mindset we have about sex. We're not only obsessed with having it, but we think that we're invincible because nothing bad ever happens to the "lovable main character." Pregnancies? Ah, you'll be okay in the end (enter Knocked Up, Juno or Saved). But can you name the last movie you've seen about gonorrhea? (your sex ed class in high school doesn't count).
Nope. That's because it's not funny and no one wants to talk about it.
So we're talking about it.
For all you know, that cute guy at the Rec might have the clap ... but you can't tell by looking at his biceps. According to the American Social Health Association, one in two sexually active people will contract an STD by the time they turn 25, and one in four college students have an STD already. The worst part is, you might not even know you have one. If you've ever had an inkling of doubt, or if you forgot to use a condom just that one time, you need to go get tested.
So that's the bad news. The good news is getting tested really isn't that scary. It's also confidential. The easiest way to get a simple test done is to schedule an appointment with Student Health Services. If you're a girl, ask for the gyno. If you're a guy, go to the general practitioner. If you're having any symptoms, they'll take it from there with either a urine sample, a blood test, a cheek swab or a physical exam. And for all those Chads and Sarahs out there, you'll feel better. We promise.
*Fictional narrative was written for class use.
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