Five Questions with Wayne Staton
Elizabeth Hagedorn
Issue date: 12/1/08 Section: 5 Questions
MQ: How do you juggle being a professor and a lawyer? Do you ever feel like you're losing your sanity?
That starts with the assumption that I am sane to begin with. Am I worse off now? I'm a little less sane every day. [Being a professor and a lawyer] is not easy; it's pretty hectic. I also teach overseas in Europe for six weeks to 90 kids, so I leave it all behind. As a lawyer, the judges can be very accommodating and others can be jerks. But I never miss class. I do give night exams and then will cancel the class during the day. I have never had a problem with cases and classes overlapping.
MQ: What do you do in your spare time?
I don't have spare time. I have a farm by Houston Woods. My daughter has horses there and she is a flight attendant. So when she is out of town, my wife and I go over there and clean the stables and spread manure. I also cut all the grass and rent out the crops. When I'm not doing that I travel. I still play ball twice a week, which is pretty good for an old man. No one guards me anymore.
MQ: Do you have the same recurring cases?
One word: Alcohol. Underage Consumption,
possession and [DUI]. The laws are screwed up. When I was young, you could be 18 and 19 and drink. The law should be changed back. Kids are sent to college, they're going to drink and probably try marijuana, even though I wish they wouldn't. It is the first time they are on their own and they're exploring.
MQ: What are some of the strangest cases you've handled here?
There was a guy who was a CPA major that got arrested for drunk driving and he was nude. Another case, three guys attacked Freddy the Falcon at a football game. The headlines read, "Three students charged with assault of Freddy the Falcon." The judge thought it was a real bird. [When the attorney] said, "Freddy the Falcon said that all he needed was a 6 pack and some ice," the judge said, 'The bird talked?'" Then he realized it was a mascot. Another one was when two professors' kids were taking the driver's ed class and asked if [the university] left the cars there over the long breaks, and [the university] did. So the two students stole the keys and took the car on spring break. A custodial member saw a Miami driver's ed car in Tennessee and called the university. They were charged with grand theft auto.
MQ: Have you heard about the Facebook group dedicated to you, "Wayne Staton is the Coolest Man Alive?" So far it has 70 members and includes many quotes from you.
I had nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks that I made it. It is flattering but I don't know why they did it. Most kids in my class are good kids. I always introduce myself by saying, "My name is Wayne Staton and I'm a legend in my own mind." I mean, maybe I would've done it. I've gone to that site and seen what they've written. It seems pretty good.
That starts with the assumption that I am sane to begin with. Am I worse off now? I'm a little less sane every day. [Being a professor and a lawyer] is not easy; it's pretty hectic. I also teach overseas in Europe for six weeks to 90 kids, so I leave it all behind. As a lawyer, the judges can be very accommodating and others can be jerks. But I never miss class. I do give night exams and then will cancel the class during the day. I have never had a problem with cases and classes overlapping.
MQ: What do you do in your spare time?
I don't have spare time. I have a farm by Houston Woods. My daughter has horses there and she is a flight attendant. So when she is out of town, my wife and I go over there and clean the stables and spread manure. I also cut all the grass and rent out the crops. When I'm not doing that I travel. I still play ball twice a week, which is pretty good for an old man. No one guards me anymore.
MQ: Do you have the same recurring cases?
One word: Alcohol. Underage Consumption,
possession and [DUI]. The laws are screwed up. When I was young, you could be 18 and 19 and drink. The law should be changed back. Kids are sent to college, they're going to drink and probably try marijuana, even though I wish they wouldn't. It is the first time they are on their own and they're exploring.
MQ: What are some of the strangest cases you've handled here?
There was a guy who was a CPA major that got arrested for drunk driving and he was nude. Another case, three guys attacked Freddy the Falcon at a football game. The headlines read, "Three students charged with assault of Freddy the Falcon." The judge thought it was a real bird. [When the attorney] said, "Freddy the Falcon said that all he needed was a 6 pack and some ice," the judge said, 'The bird talked?'" Then he realized it was a mascot. Another one was when two professors' kids were taking the driver's ed class and asked if [the university] left the cars there over the long breaks, and [the university] did. So the two students stole the keys and took the car on spring break. A custodial member saw a Miami driver's ed car in Tennessee and called the university. They were charged with grand theft auto.
MQ: Have you heard about the Facebook group dedicated to you, "Wayne Staton is the Coolest Man Alive?" So far it has 70 members and includes many quotes from you.
I had nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks that I made it. It is flattering but I don't know why they did it. Most kids in my class are good kids. I always introduce myself by saying, "My name is Wayne Staton and I'm a legend in my own mind." I mean, maybe I would've done it. I've gone to that site and seen what they've written. It seems pretty good.
Be the first to comment on this story