Sarah's at the salon getting her hair cut, reading Cosmo's "Top 10 Wild Sex Positions." The hairdresser leans over her shoulder and points out that the "Sensual Spoon" looks fun. Sarah furrows her eyebrows and thinks this woman is way too old to be having sex, but she agrees nonetheless.
I am sorry to inform you that I will no longer be illegally parking my car in the red restricted zone on campus. For the last two years, your parking attendants have managed to distribute my black Ford Escape $2,795 in parking tickets. At $65 a pop, that's 43 lifts of my car's wiper, gently tucking that cute ticket to sleep against my windshield.
What makes you think that after agonizing over exams and spending way too much time and money trying to find that well thought out gift, I want to spend every waking moment with you? It's called a break, so give me one. I haven't seen my friends from home in how long? And you expect me to frost snowflake cookies? Let me have a few beers with the guys and you frost the cookies, I'll come over and eat them.
